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Here Are 8 Essential Tips To Survive Your Twenties Without Getting Stressed Out

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Source: Youtube/ Dear Maya

The first twenty years of your life are comparatively very easy. Though while going through that phase, many think they are having the toughest time in their lives. The truth is that it’s not everything. There could be a lot of pressure of getting good grades and proving yourself to the world. The real effort begins when you move out of your teens. Even as a teenager you don’t understand the real meaning of relationships.

The relationships you get into are mostly because you are attracted towards someone. It’s difficult to understand what real love looks like. However, the real struggle starts in your twenties. The moment you hit the twenties, life falls out from every direction. There is so much to handle when it comes to relationships. Whether it’s your friends or you get into some special relationship. Even your relationship with parents tends to alter as you grow. The world expects more than what you able to deliver. To help make your life better, here are 8 essential tips to survive your twenties without getting stressed out.

1. Learn from your failures rather than holding it back

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This is all part of the twenties, you get into relationships and then things fall off. It might take a couple of hits before you find the right person. You don’t have to hold yourself back with such experiences. People run into depression and get stuck in their past. The right thing to do is to look back and see what did go wrong? There is nothing wrong in re-considering your past. Many people say that one should not think about their past experiences but that’s not the case. Going back is just one of those important things in life. It helps you to recover your old wounds. Learn from your past mistakes and move on.

2. Save some for yourself and travel

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Unfortunately, in our culture, we hardly encourage traveling in our teenage years. There are a couple of reasons to it, as we don’t encourage our kids to find jobs in early ages. It’s not necessary that you only opt for international destinations. Traveling open up your mind and makes you confident. You learn to handle yourself and communicate with different people. Also, when you are traveling with your friends or alone, the cost is not a concern. You don’t all the five star leverages, all you need is a decent place to stay because most of your time goes in exploring the place.

3. Don’t put your damn life on social media

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Probably, this was not the case a decade ago but in recent times everything is for everyone’s grab. The generation of today has half of their lives on social media. We measure our lives in terms of likes and shares on our social media post. There is a post for everything, making us almost perfect. The perfect photo of the food we make or eat. The perfect friends and family circle we have. However, in claiming those likes we actually lose our own true selves. Social media platforms were built to communicate rather than informing people about your own self. Most of these stories are not true and we all know that. So, it’s better if you try to explore the real life and make the best out of it, rather than missing out on some key moments because you are too concern about what’s going on your social media timeline.

4. Decide yourself, what really you want your life to be.

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Don’t make it hard on yourself by looking at all the success stories around you. Yes, there would be some people who had achieved great things while in their 20s but that doesn’t mean you have to feel stressed out by their achievements. You are not doing anything wrong either, all you need to do is to see what you really want to accomplish in life. The easiest way to do that is not to compare yourself with others.

5. Keep an eye your bills, so be wise with your savings.

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A lot of young people rush for credit cards as soon as they get the first job. We all have dreams, we all want to buy things we couldn’t afford before. Often in such a rush people end up swapping the card everywhere. But before you go crazy, remember these bills will not leave you alone. The banks don’t leave anyone so you would be paying too many installments leaving you behind with minimal or no savings at all.

6. Work hard on built your career

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When you kick off your career, either with an internship or your first job. Put extra effort and work harder than others around you. Just put everything online, show them what you have got. You might feel tired or at times underpaid but remember this is all you have and the effort you are putting in now will lead you to a better life tomorrow.

7. Embrace yourself

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The best part of the twenties, you can wear what you like without really caring about what people think. Embrace yourself, don’t be bothered with what people think of your physical appearance. There are far more important things in life, so don’t waste those precious minutes of your life on worrying about this petty stuff.

 

8. Take a good night sleep!

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While we are in our twenties, we have this extra dose of energy. Our body can take more than it’s actual ability. Also, there are so much we want to do besides studying. We want to hang out with friends, stay late to watch our favorite movies, talk to friends etc. However, depriving yourself of a good sleep at night will eventually make you regret later in your life. Times will come when you would really wish to get a good sleep but your commitments would demand something else.

 

Life

10 Reasons Why Guys Should Pay On A Date & Hey, It’s Not Against Feminism

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In the midst of the debate over gender equality, there is always few questions left unanswered. One such question is about paying for the first date. A lot of women believe that there is nothing wrong if they had to pay. However, we believe that there are still things which should be kept aside the gender war. Honestly, its a great gesture for someone you care. Here are 10 reasons why guys should pay on a date.

1. Somethings goes best the ‘old school’ way

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There is a general courtesy and such acts of decency are not against women empowerment. Neither they challenge the status quo of modern day women. Praising someone or giving them a nice bouquet of flowers or opening the door for her on the first date is all about leaving a great first impression.

2. It’s not friendship

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Always remember you are not there as a friend. While you are on a date, you are surely not out there to make friends where you would split the bill. This night is a special one and carries different rules.

3. Everybody wants to get pampered, no matter how empowered are you.

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Even if you are the one who likes to take control over things, there is no harm in getting pampered. Being cared for is a great gesture on a date. At least it tells you that the guy would care about you if you decide to go on with the relationship.

4. It’s not about money

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Taking to you a nice place and paying the bill is not about showing how well you do. Whatever you are paying is more about valuing your company. This shows how much they value your time and company, no matter whatever is the size of the bill.

5. If he is the one asking you out, then he should take the lead

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There are hardly any such instances where a woman would ask someone out for a date. Generally, men approach women and ask them out for a date. So, if you have asked someone then he should have the courtesy to bare the expenses. Afterall, she is the guest and one should treat them well if they have accepted the invitation.

6. It speaks volume about your character

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Well, you two might not see each other for the next date but at least it leaves a decent impression. It shows what kind of man are you made of and the kind of people you are surrounded with. Also if he is doing it for the first doesn’t mean that he will continue to do so. It just shows that he values you and he is generous enough to take care of that one night.

7. A date is a costly affair for a woman

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Noone can deny that a girl has to take care of more than one thing. She has to think about her wardrobe, her looks, hairstyle and everything else to look perfect. Though things are changing, still everyone expects a girl to look great on her first date. So, if it costing a girl so much to meet someone’s expectations then at least the guy can take care of the bill.

8. You can always return the favor, everybody gets their turn

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Even if you can afford to pay or share the bill, doing it on the first date is not the best option. It looks as if you keep a count on things. A healthy relationship is based on giving and takes. You will always have your turn. Maybe you can gift them something later or ask them for a cup of coffee after the dinner. If you two get along, you can always put turns to pay the bills.

9. It tells you that you are welcoming and give space in a relationship

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It also speaks a lot about your mentality. If you are allowing him then it shows that you respect him and have no issues in sharing the space. Also, it helps him take a step forward and share his feelings with you. This can only happen if both develop this kind of trust between each other.

10. There are more important issues which need to be addressed when it comes to gender equality

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When it comes to gender equality, there is a lot more to handle. Our society is still fighting for equal pay in so many industries. Gender roles are being constantly questioned and luckily a guy paying for a date is not an issue on the table. In fact, these little gestures help understand the roles in more convenient manner.

 

 

 

 

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Life

Fact Correction: Islam Has Nothing To Do With Honor Killings

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It is kind of absurd to imagine that even in this era of modern technology where science has put a man to the moon, developed flying vehicles, and women are encouraged to compete with their male counterparts in all fields of life, some poor woman is being killed in the name of honor by her own family just because she demanded to live her life on her own terms in front of people she thought will always protect and care for her.

Sadly, in almost 90% of the honor killing cases, it is the woman who is blamed primarily and has to face punishment. This goes out to prove an extent of misogyny embedded in the mindsets of such so-called honor upholders. Boys involved in any incident get away easily and are almost never put into the equation. This furthermore assures the extent of discrimination against girls and women.

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Lack of education is the core issue

Honor killing is a serious problem on a global level, according to statistics, 5000 women reportedly lose their lives by the hands of honor annually and nearly 1000 such cases are annually reported in Pakistan and India.

Sadder is the fact that almost half of such cases are never even reported to authorities, these homicides are deceived to look accidents and in some cases, these poor girls are even forced to commit suicide. Apart from murder, victims are mentally tortured, shamed and beaten. Many cases have reported of acid being thrown at victims.

Honor killing is a sickening practice prevailing in developing countries, almost rare in developed countries. A deeper study of these cases leads back to only one major cause- illiteracy. Nearly every case of honor killing has emerged from the rural part where people priorities their flawed cultural norms more than education and human rights.

Education plays a vital role in teaching a person right from wrong and in reinforcing their morals. In these rural areas, the standard of education is so poor, it’s impossible to learn anything of value except curriculum. It’s a practice most common in sub-continent and it haunts the women of community living in these areas.

Marrying someone of your own choice continues to be a common factor in the majority of the cases

Unlike the west, where a woman is standing up against misogyny and gender discrimination/oppression, it’s difficult for women living in the sub-continent to express their views due to the widespread misogyny infected mindset of the community.

A deeper analysis shows a pattern that is much more intense in uneducated rural areas as compared to educated urban areas. In such areas, women are barred from interacting with the opposite gender let alone falling in love with one or getting to decide which man to marry and if a woman is found doing that, she ultimately becomes a stain on the family’s name and is killed in the name of honor.

This leads to question whether this really is 21st century or not? Have we achieved all sorts of scientific marvels but are unable to give respect and liberty to women.

In 2015, 1,096 cases of honor killings were reported in Pakistan, the causes of which mainly were disputes, pre-marital relationships and personal choice in marriage. Most of these victims were shot to death. Meanwhile, in India, the percentage of honor killings in India increased by 796% from 2014 to 2015.

While there is no special law in India to tackle the issue of honor killing, the Pakistani government has implemented a punishment of at least 25 years for the killer in addition to a DNA test to furthermore punish the perpetrator.

Honor Killings & Islam

Some people blame Islam to be the reason behind honor killing and promotion of women oppression while the reality is the total opposite of the claim. Islam literally means peaceful. Islam is the most peaceful religion in the world and the only religion to provide the woman with the status she deserves in society.

1,400 years ago, women were far from being considered as humans, were treated like animals and were made victims of horrible crimes such as rape and slavery. Islam is the first religion to protect women and quote the worth of a woman. Furthermore, Islam despises harm let alone murder.

Centuries ago Islam told parents to ask their daughters of their will before marriage. Islam has clearly given a woman a right to decide. Extremism, illiteracy, and discrimination shouldn’t be mixed with religion. It’s the people’s twisted understanding of the culture that allows them to take a life over honor, not religion.

Islam labels murder as the worst of crimes and says that the murder one being is the murder of the whole humanity. Can Islam really promote such a heinous crime? Think for yourself.

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Life

8 Unnecessary Assumptions You Might Be Making Out Of Everything Your Partner Says

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Source: Youtube/ Dice Media/ Little Things

In every relationship, one thing which ruins everything is too much overthinking about everything your partner says. This is not just relationship with your life partner but goes the same with everyone. At times, people look for those hidden meanings when your partner says anything. It’s not that they are actually willing to do such, people put the words in their mouth just to hear what they want. Too much stressing about what your partner said and overthinking can ruin any relationship.

Such things can also manipulate a relationship in different ways, making too many assumptions can lead an unexpected path.  Acting as if you know what your partner wants to say or what they meant can disrupt a relationship. Here are 8 unnecessary assumptions you might be making out of everything your partner says. Rather than creating your own versions, it’s best to practice active listening and understand what they really wanted to say,

1. You only listen to the key point and hang on to it, leaving behind the rest of the conversation

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While listening to your partner, you only focus on the leading point of the conversation. If you just hold on to that point and leave behind the rest what was said then you were not really into the conversation. If you are not listening to their complete side of the story, then you can’t really respond to it in a correct manner. If you think you have understanding issues, then you can repeat what they said just to make sure that you got their point right.

2. Not ready to take it back

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It’s important to learn to take criticism, especially if that is coming from someone you love. If you are ok giving your feedbacks but not ready to take that, then you are not moving anywhere. This normally happens when you have already assumed that you don’t need to change. People stop taking criticism seriously or simply avoid them because they believe they have everything going in the right direction.

3. You will always have a different interpretation of your conversation

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This is totally normal, as humans we have a tendency to judge things differently. Every individual can have a different version of the same story. This all depends on how did they intercept the piece of communication. When it comes to relationships, assuming something different can lead to a different outcome. When you are not confident about your relationship then this is most likely to happen. If two people are having two different versions of a story, they would end up in an unnecessary argument. It’s always wiser to run the conversation through your partner just to make sure that both of you are on the same page.

4. You manipulate your relationship

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It’s been noticed many times that people tend to manipulate certain situations in a relationship. They do it to test their partner or to see what they wish to see. In doing that, you might not realize that you are pushing your partner unnecessarily. Testing someone you love is an act of untrustworthiness.  Also, a lot of times people don’t actually realize that they are doing such things. They just end up doing it, damaging their relationship in a long run. People use different techniques to trigger such behaviors, such as shutting up a conversation, giving a silent treatment to your partner.

5. You run an analysis on everything they say

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One does not necessarily have to evaluate everything that is said.  If you are running a forensic test on each and every conversation that you have serious trust issues in your relationship. This actually means that you are trying hard to find something which can create some kind of trouble. If you end up analyzing each world that is being said or written just to create something out of it then your relationship is already heading towards harm’s way.

6. You don’t set a limit on your relationships with your family & friends

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We all share our lives with our family and friends. There is nothing wrong with doing that but this doesn’t mean that they become a part of your life. However, if there is too much of an exchange than that could harm your relationship. If you are constantly listening to them, then you might start depending on their suggestion. Remember they are not in your shoes and they might not be able to see the whole picture. Also, because they only know your side of the story. Such interference can only create negativity in your relationship.

7. Always thinking how bad your life is and how worse it can get

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A lot of many people find hard and get stuck in their past. If you are not about to get out of it then your relationship will come to an end soon. Whenever you think of having a conversation, you think of all the worst things that can happen to your relationship. Only because you had some bad past experiences. You can never move forward in a relationship if you hold yourself back, what’s important is to think of all the positive things and work on getting things better.

8. Creating your own ending

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If you are waiting for things to slip off your hands with your own assumptions. If you have already created your own story and if you are looking for that one point then you will have it. If you go so deep into something then there are high chances that you will end up having it. People start behaving in a way that would push them to react in a certain manner. Such actions often occur during heated conversations and your only focus is to hear that one thing running through your mind, then there are high chances that you might not hear it at all. All you would end up having is unnecessary stress and anxiety all the time.

 

 

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